When I was in my twenties and thirties I had a terrible relationship with money. My poor relationship stemmed from an upbringing that included shopping therapy, conversations about how little we had, conversations about how hard we worked for how little we had, and how evil all of the people that had a lot of money were.
I was taught by my father, who was a pastor, that piety is often equivalent to poverty; that “it is harder for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle.” So then I guess King David, Job, Abraham, and countless other wealthy Biblical characters, all had a real hard time getting there.
As I got older, and got around other mentors, I realized some things just didn’t add up. I love my father, and the positive impact he has had on my life can’t be overstated. However, a good relationship with money was not the product of his, or my mother’s upbringing.
Internal Wiring
They taught me deeper values of spirituality, overcoming injustice, not bending to the gravity of society, having integrity, being of service to the community, and being the type of person that has an impact on people’s lives by offering them information and resources that make their lives easier.
You see, my father was an associate pastor who didn’t want to be the head pastor because he didn’t want to take money from the church. He had a dual masters degree in History of Religions, and Social Work, and carried out his professional life similarly, preaching on Sundays, and offering counseling all of the time.
He would often leave before 8am and come home after 10pm, so stressed from the burdens of the day that he would have to walk out after coming home, cool off, and walk back in.
My mom is an advocate for children and families with developmental disabilities as a result of my sister being born with significant disabilities in the late 70’s. My mom, a pre-law major, decided to make a career out of getting my sister the services she would require to live the 18 years that she survived her disability. As a result, my mom learned the skills to help other families.
My parents were a biracial couple in the late 60’s, in New England, and they are no joke. I love them dearly, but they didn’t teach me about money.
Oxygen for Money
It took decades of study and implementation to realize the depth of the seeds planted in me by my parents when it comes to money. Zig Zigler once said, and I couldn’t agree more, that, “Money isn’t everything, but it’s right up there with oxygen.” This statement is so deep, but when I first heard it, it made me uncomfortable because I didn’t have a strong money consciousness.
We breathe air constantly, and air is only made up of about 20% oxygen, and without that 20%, breathing it is of no use. Further, if it were 100% oxygen, it would be too rich (pun intended) for us to make use of. When I look at the 12 steps to riches, as outlined by Napoleon Hill, money is the last on the list, but without it we are very limited in terms of the scope to which we can affect change, or even survive.
Every righteous cause you can think of would benefit from more money. Every individual you personally know would benefit from more money. I have a business coach who tells me, “If you can solve a ‘problem’ with money, you don’t have ‘problems’ you have situations.”
99 Problems & Wealth Ain’t One
99% of your “problems” are addressed by increasing your money consciousness, and improving your relationship with money. When you do that you will realize how small your “problems” are. Yet, most people look at the wealthy with scorn.
How can you ever be wealthy, if there are people you dislike, simply because they are wealthy? An individual that creates a business that serves millions of people is an individual you should study, not dislike on the basis of their wealth.
Some go to the other extreme end of the spectrum and admire and look up to every person that is wealthy to the point of idolizing them. I am a very spiritual person, and there is only one I will ever idolize. However, I will happily model behavior that is beneficial to my growth, and behavior and thought patterns that earn more income are behaviors and thought patterns that I should be adopting, so long as they are never to the detriment of others.
Your Television is an Income Suppressant
It is not a coincidence that in the 50’s and 60’s about 50% of villains on television were wealthy, while today 98% of villains are corporate giants. Your television is an income suppressant for a lot of reasons, but that is a big one.
You are programmed to view wealth as inherently wicked, and taught that there is not a way to be wealthy without harming others, when the opposite is actually true. Think about all of the drug dealers, and kingpins, and warlords, and CEO’s that make up the villainy of our television experience.
Rarely is the opposite true, where the wealthy swoop in and are the reason for the success of others, but in reality that’s actually how it works. It’s a truth I didn’t realize until I started to associate with multiple multi millionaires. I found them to be the highest caliber of people. In fact, the greater their wealth, the higher the caliber of the individual in most cases. “Service to many leads to greatness.” Look up the source of that quote.
Multiply Yourself
So the next time you find yourself having conversations with yourself like, “I don’t want too much money, I just want to be comfortable,” I want you to ask yourself, what is too much money, and what makes it too much money?
I now know money is like alcohol, it multiplies what is already inside of you by removing inhibitions. If you are a good soul, having more money will allow you to do more good. If you are not, then it will not, but money is only a tool.
Money is a representation of the level of service you have provided for your community. It is a certificate of achievement. You are paid for how much you get done with your life. If you are not happy with your income, find ways to get more done by forming partnerships, starting a part time business, and finding ways to multiply yourself.
It could be as simple as teaching a few people a few recipes and distributing food. It could be something in network marketing, or in real estate investment. It could be learning more about grant funding and starting a non-profit. There are no shortage of ways to provide service. There is only a shortage of individuals willing to make the necessary changes in order see the success they are looking for.
Change doesn’t happen overnight and change is ALWAYS uncomfortable. “If you want things to change, you have to change,” as stated so eloquently by the late great Jim Rohn. The most fundamental truths are often the most simple, the most effective, and the most overlooked. Are you willing to change?